


Idiot’s Guide to Getting a Boyfriend

by KittyBandit



Series: Laven Week 2017 [3]
Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Humor, M/M, Minor Injuries, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-09
Updated: 2017-08-09
Packaged: 2018-12-13 09:33:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11757012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittyBandit/pseuds/KittyBandit
Summary: Laven Week Day 3 - Lavi’s an idiot, and this is how he gets a boyfriend.





	Idiot’s Guide to Getting a Boyfriend

**Author's Note:**

> Day 3 - (Joker) Unlimited potential, Risks, Foolishness

The sweltering heat of mid-summer left the air heavy and thick, the sound of cicadas and birds twittering high in the trees a constant companion at their picnic. Under the shade of a pair of maple trees, Lenalee opened the old, beat-up cooler and pulled out a bottle of water from the half melted ice. They’d been at the lake for nearly four hours now, and didn’t have plans to leave any time soon.

Sitting down, she watched as Lavi and Allen swam out into the lake. There was a large oak tree just by the water’s edge, branches stretching far out over the deep drop. A rope swing hung from one of the sturdier tree limbs, and Lavi and Allen had been using it nonstop for nearly an hour.

Next to the picnic table, Kanda and Alma were camped out on a large blanket. Alma was polishing off a container of cut watermelon and Kanda had been napping for hours. When Lenalee set her bottle down and kicked off her sandals, Alma turned their attention to her.

“You going swimming, too?” they asked, popping another juicy chunk of melon into their mouth.

They were all dressed in swimsuits, and Lenalee only had to slide off her shorts to be ready to jump in the water. She’d already earned a dark tan from lazing about in her bikini and had to reapply sunscreen twice since they’d arrived.

“I was thinking about it,” she said, plaiting her hair to keep it secure. Just as she was about to head down to the shore, Allen and Lavi were coming back up, sopping wet and laughing as they reached the picnic table.

“Did you see that last jump, Lena?” Lavi asked, grabbing a towel off the table and handing it to Allen. “I think I got eight feet off the water.”

“Four, tops,” Allen corrected, shaking his head and grabbing an open bag of potato chips before sitting down on the bench.

“Al, _c’mon_ , don’t cut me short here!”

Allen simply smiled back before shoving a handful of chips into his mouth.

Lenalee grabbed another towel and handed it to Lavi. “Okay, okay. Eight feet. I believe you.”

Lavi took the towel, pouting as he pulled it over his shoulders. “You _clearly_ don’t.”

Over on the blanket, Kanda grumbled and turned over, blinking as he glared at them. “Would you all shut up for five minutes? I’m trying to sleep.”

“Yuu, don’t be mean!” Lavi cried, tilting his head back and groaning. “Why are you sleeping, anyway? You’re missing all the fun!”

“Sleeping _is_ fun.”

Alma laughed and nudged Kanda’s side. “Don’t be such a party pooper. You can sleep at home.”

Kanda cursed under his breath and threw an arm over his eyes as he stretched out on his back. “I should’ve stayed home, then.”

_“Yuu…”_

Kanda sighed at the tone Alma used, and sat up, glaring over at Lavi and Allen. “I can’t believe I have to be awake to hear you talk about that stupid rope swing.”

Lavi gasped, as if he’d been personally attacked by the comment. “You haven’t even tried it! It’s amazing.”

Allen polished off the bag of chips in his hand and then went in for some of the sandwiches Alma and Lenalee had prepared earlier. “Don’t bother talking to him, Lavi. He wouldn’t know fun if it bit him in the ass.”

“Shut up, Beansprout.”

“Make me, ponytail.”

“Okay, okay,” Lavi interrupted, walking closer to Kanda. If he didn’t cut off Allen and Kanda’s bickering, they’d never stop. “But seriously—name one thing cooler than jumping off that rope swing.”

Kanda’s lips twitched up into a nearly imperceivable smile. “Jumping off the tree instead.”

Lavi blinked, staring back at him. “What?”

“Climb the tree and jump off one of the branches instead.”

“Why would I do that when I have the swing?”

Kanda paused for a moment, then said, “Wouldn’t it be _cooler_ if you jumped off the tree branch instead of the swing?”

There was a long silence, as if the whole group were contemplating Kanda’s statement, until Lavi tossed his towel back at Lenalee and rushed towards the lake. They all knew what coming, and Allen hurried after the redhead in hopes of stopping him before it was too late.

“Lavi, no!” Allen shouted, tripping over his feet as he scrambled after him. “It’s too high!”

“I’m doing it, Al! And it’s gonna be _amazing_!” Lavi was already halfway up the tree trunk by the time Allen caught up to him.

“Damn you and your long legs,” Allen cursed, jumping at the lowest branch on the trunk, but coming up short each time. He sighed and stared up helplessly as Lavi balanced precariously along the thick tree branch that jutted out over the water. “Get down right now!”

Lavi kept his focus on the wobbling tree branch under his feet. “Sorry, Al. I have to do this and prove just how awesome I am.”

Allen groaned, raking back his damp hair with a shaky hand. “Lavi, you’re going to hurt yourself.”

“That negative attitude is interfering with my concentration. Now I _have_ to prove it to you.” Lavi moved further down the branch, precariously balancing as he slowly moved one foot in front of the other. So far, he was able to hold onto a branch above his head to keep steady, but that branch no longer could support his weight, and he was left with nothing but his own balance to keep from tumbling the fifteen feet back down to the ground. He hadn’t even made it out above the water yet.

Lenalee and Alma had met Allen under the tree by that point, and they mirrored his worried face as they stared up at the redhead.

“Please come down, Lavi,” Lenalee begged.

“Yeah, Yuu didn’t mean for you to actually climb the tree,” Alma added, scratching the back of their neck nervously. “He’s just being a jerk like usual.”

“No can do. I’ve gotta prove to Allen how amazing I am.” Lavi spread out his arms tilting, back and forth as he inched his way further out on the branch. The limb wobbled under his weight, and Lenalee sucked in a breath as she covered her eyes.

“Oh, God. I can’t watch,” she whispered as she turned around and groaned anxiously.

Allen’s eyes were still glued to Lavi’s form high above. “Lavi, you don’t have to prove anything to me. I already like you, okay? Just get down.”

That caught Lavi’s attention, and he stopped in his tracks to look back down at Allen. “What did you say?”

“ _I like you_ , so please don’t get yourself killed being stupid,” Allen shouted back up at him, quickly losing his patience.

Lavi was quiet for a long moment, unmoving on the branch. Even from high above, Allen could see his flushed cheeks. “Al… Do you— _shit_!” Before he could finish his question, Lavi lost his balance and fell to the ground with a sickening thump. He cried out as he hit the ground, feet first, and curled up on his side with a groan.

Allen jumped back at the suddenness of it, but rushed to Lavi once he’d hit the ground. “Oh, my God! Are you okay?” he asked, carefully rolling him on his back to check for injuries.

Lenalee and Alma hurried to help as well. Alma looked more shocked than anything, and Lenalee was close to tears.

“We told you to get down!” Lenalee shouted, tears in her eyes. “Dammit, Lavi!”

“Shit,” Alma said, wincing as he looked at Lavi’s foot. “I think you broke it.”

“Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuuuuck,” Lavi spat out as he sat up and looked down at his foot. It hurt to move and every little jostle to his leg send a wave of pain up his body. “Okay… I might concede that this was a bad idea.”

“C’mon,” Allen said as he eased Lavi’s arm over his shoulder. “We’re taking you to the hospital.” Alma helped him as Lenalee took a step back as shook her head, worry still cast over her face.

As they pulled Lavi to his feet, the redhead wobbled, unsteady on one foot as they began hobbling back to the picnic table. When Kanda caught sight of them, he snickered.

“Problems?”

“This is all your fault,” Lenalee said, hurrying ahead and gathering their things together. She shot Kanda a foul look before turning away.

“I didn’t force him to climb the tree,” Kanda grumbled, not bothering to get up from his spot on the blanket.

“Don’t give me that garbage,” she snapped back, still hurriedly packing. “You know what you did. And get your ass up and help me. We have to take Lavi to the hospital.”

Kanda cursed under his breath, but got up and did as Lenalee asked. By the time Alma and Allen had helped Lavi to the picnic table, Lenalee had almost packed all the food away. They continued up the hill and towards the parking lot.

“I’ll take Lavi to the hospital, Lena,” Allen said, looking back to her as they passed the picnic table. “Can you grab our stuff?”

“Sure thing, Allen. I’ve got it covered. And Kanda will help— _right_ , Kanda?”

Kanda made a noise that sounded like a begrudging confirmation, and folded the blanket he’d been using earlier with blatant annoyance. “ _Right_ ,” he replied, mocking her tone and turning his back on her.

Alma and Allen helped Lavi into the passenger seat of his car, Allen taking the keys and slipping into the driver seat. Lenalee brought them both their shirts, shoes, and a couple more towels before they could drive away.

“Text me which hospital you’re at. We’ll be there as soon as we can,” she said, through the driver’s side window as Allen started the car and put it in gear.

Lavi sighed and shook his head. “It’s fine, Lena. You don’t have to come, too.”

“Hush. I think you’re done making decisions today,” she gave him an angry look before smiling back at Allen. “Drive safe.”

“We will,” he replied before they were on their way. He kept his eyes on the little dirt road, and once they made their way back to the highway, he hit the gas. Lavi leaned back in the seat, scrubbing his still damp skin with one of the towels Lenalee has given them before they left.

“Thanks for driving me, Al,” he said, not looking up as he worked the towel down his injured leg with careful movements.

Allen sighed heavily, irritation clear in his voice when he spoke next. “It’s fine. But I wish you wouldn’t do stupid things like that just because Kanda eggs you on.”

Lavi pouted, dropping the towel on the floor of the car and working on his shirt next. “It would’ve been cool—I stand by that.”

Allen resisted the urge to roll his eyes. They were still a good half hour away from the nearest hospital, and he didn’t want to argue with Lavi the entire way there. “Next time, just ignore him. I don’t want to make a habit out of taking you to the hospital.”

“Aw, Al? Are you worried about me? That’s sweet.” Lavi shimmed into his shirt and grinned over at him, leaning in close.

With a sigh, Allen adjusted his grip on the steering wheel. He still kept his eyes on the road. “Of course I’m worried.”

Lavi lost the teasing tone after hearing Allen’s sincere reply and shifted back into his seat. He watched Allen quietly for a long moment before speaking again. “So, did you mean it?”

“You’re going to have to be more specific,” Allen replied, a smile tilting up on his lips.

“When you said you liked me.”

“Of course I like you, Lavi. We’re friends.”

“You know that’s not what I meant.”

Allen pressed his lips together in a thin line and took a long, slow breath through his nose. “…It would probably be best if we waited until after we took you to the hospital.”

Lavi groaned and knocked his head back on the headrest. “C’mon, Al. I can’t sit in this car for—” he looked at the clock on the car radio “24 more minutes with you and _not_ think about it. I don’t wanna wait.”

“You’re so impatient,” he said, holding back a soft laugh. There was a beat, a quick moment of silence before he licked his lips and gave Lavi what he wanted. “Yes. I like you.”

Lavi’s lips twitched into a grin and he looked away, as if hiding it from Allen. “For real?”

“For real.”

Lavi laughed, and the sound echoed in the car. “You know… If I would’ve known that before, I might have avoided this whole mess.”

“Are you saying you climbed that tree to woo me?”

“Well… It worked, didn’t it?”

Allen chuckled and spared Lavi a quick glance. “Touché.”

Lavi turned and watched Allen, his face flushed. “Does this mean I can take you out on a date now?”

“Maybe we should hit the hospital first?”

Rolling his eyes, Lavi let out a melodramatic sigh, barely hiding the grin on his face. “You’re such a cockblock.”

Allen could only chuckle in response.


End file.
